Supermarket Flowers

"Has Mom heard this song yet? " I heard Trevor ask Kelsey as we were driving home from dinner.  We were listening to Ed Sheeran’s new album and Supermarket Flowers had just started playing.  I knew Ed had written the song after his grandmother died but I had not brought myself to listen to it yet.   My mum’s been gone almost 14 years and as we drove in the darkness the lump in my throat was palpable.  

"I took the supermarket flowers from the windowsill

Threw the day-old tea from the cup

Packed up the photo album Matthew had made

Memories of a life that's been loved

Took the "Get Well Soon" cards and stuffed animals

Poured the old ginger beer down the sink

Dad always told me, "Don't you cry when you're down."

But, mum, there's a tear every time that I blink"

I remember going to the nursing home a couple of days after the funeral...we found Mum's few possessions piled on her wheel chair that was parked in the utility closet.  I can still picture my mother's shoulders shaking as she was pushing the wheel chair out to the car.

"Oh, I'm in pieces. It's tearing me up but I know
A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved"

I always find myself missing her more in the spring.  Lilacs, the Boston Marathon, and her May birthday make me misty.

"So, I'll sing Hallelujah,
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
When I fell down you'd be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go
And when God takes you back
He'll say, "Hallelujah, you're home."

Your relationship with your Grandmother is always less complicated.   Grandmothers aren't challenged with the difficult parts of parenting. They just get to play the role of your biggest fan.

"I fluffed the pillows, made the beds, stacked the chairs up

Folded your nightgowns neatly in a case
John said he'd drive, then put his hand on my cheek
And wiped a tear from the side of my face"

Since Mum died our family has drifted apart but the week of her passing we were all together pitching in and comforting each other.  Stories of our shared memories filled the hours as we made her final plans.

"I hope that I see the world as you did 'cause I know
A life with love is a life that's been lived"

I treasure the things she taught me to love...gin rummy, a thunderstorm, Make Way for Ducklings, and a good tuna salad sandwich with pickles.

"Hallelujah,
You were an angel in the shape of my mum
You got to see the person I have become
Spread your wings and I know
That when God took you back, he said, "Hallelujah, you're home."

I was almost 36 when Mum died and I was so lucky to have her as long as I did. She got to love Kelsey and Trevor and while their memories of her are a little fuzzy, they knew Ed's song would resonate with me.